Pages

12 June 2007

What I need

Now that's some title isn't it? Wouldn't life be simpler if we were all better at stating clearly what we needed? And discerning between what we truly need and what we want? I was told recently that I was receiving lessons in patience and humility.

But, to not be so serious, I followed Courtney's lead in letting Google tell me what I need. The rules are: Type "your name + needs" into Google. Although I got myriad hits the first time, the following list is a blend of various combinations of my name in the search criteria. The results are usually fun, but a few were like horoscopes -- could apply to anyone but hit very close to home at this moment.

Google says I need:

- bodyguards (Only if that crank phone caller the other day really does know where I live.)

- to write a description of herself (Look around here, people.)

- a duck to keep her company (Huh? What? Nothing to quack about.)

- a home where she will not be left alone in a yard (Apparently because of my feral background.)

- dental emergency treatment (As opposed to emergency dental treatment?)

- to either be rich or famous or navigate a confusing legal process (Two of these things belong together; one is not like the others.)

- your help on using this (I'm happy if you read and laugh along with this.)

- to learn to be gentler and less of a perfectionist (Ahem. Cough.)

- to make up her damned mind (Whatever. Give me time.)

- a French tutor (Preferably a handsome one in Paris...)

- issues addressed on the level of feelings (Abandon stoicism?)

- to blog, read a blog, or at the very least keep an open blog mind. (I'm doing that!)

- repair (The recent xrays & MRI confirmed that!)

- verbal encouragement (Or written, in comments.)

- a team (Of experts in something or other. No doctors or lawyers please.)

- to retire soon (I'd like to by age 50, but that's only happening in my dreams.)

- focusing (I embrace my adhd tendencies.)

- a shot of helium or something (How do you write that to signify a wee little voice?)

- to renew my commitment (Ahem. Cough.)

- so much light (Even when it isn't winter. Light = Joy. We all need lots of it!)

- a job (A different one, I'm assuming.)

- a group of at least 6 people, a room big enough to hold the group and a time span of at least 2 hours (And you wouldn't believe what I could do with that!)

- to keep her "Praise Jesus" routine in her church and spare her morning show audience. (I don't have a show & I'd never make it as a Pentecostal. I'm more faith+ scripture+reason than scripture+faith+emotion. Hands down, so to speak.)

- to be where the action is (As long as it doesn't involve high speed vehicular chases, violence, or anything scary.)

- needs more lips. So she's not Catherine-Zeta Jones, but she's got a nice, approachable smile nonetheless. (No comment!)

- has got to go! (Well said. The end.)

- to stop now! (Sometimes I have to be told twice!)

I think I should stick to a spiritual director for guidance on what I need, rather than the Google Oracle!

6 comments:

Emily Barton said...

Wasn't that fun? I especially like your response to the shot of helium.

And I'm dying to know: did you make it to the Hungarian Pastry Shop, and wasn't it heavenly?

Cam said...

Emily -- I didn't make it to NYC today. I sat on the tarmac for almost 4 hours & then they cancelled all flights to NY because of weather! I did actually get to read much of the New Yorker fiction issue while waiting, though. Biggest disappointment of my "flight" -- they were about to start selling cold beer when we had to de-plane. I was so thirsty for something cold that I would have paid airline prices. I try again tomorrow, but doubt that I'll get to Hungarian Pastry Cafe this time. I've already missed 1/2 day of a 2 day meeting.

The needy meme was fun. And I don't care how childish, I'm always tempted by the helium voice thing!

Courtney said...

God, I enjoy this meme. I wish everyone would do it. I think it's hilarious. I wish I had a different name so I could do it again!

mandarine said...

Indeed this is a funny game! I'll probably play along soon (as son as my server is resurrected).

chiefbiscuit said...

Hilarious - sounds like fun. I must give it a try.

Anne said...

Ok, mine is really depressing. The other, more famous, Anne Fernald is also a professor so all of mine are either me or her and they're all about academic administration....not very hilarious at all...

Yours is terrific!