I'm Still Laughing

Last night, after dinner, my sisters and I were talking about silly things our kids had done. My youngest sister made a comment revealing that she didn't know something that most everybody -- boy or girl -- would know by about age 5. Something that if you read in a novel you wouldn't find believable, unless the character had just woke up from a decades-long coma. And had functional amnesia. And been raised by wolves.

I never thought about it. she said. I can't help it that I have a boy.

I laughed so hard I peed my pants.

As we were laughing my brother calls. Little Sister tells Big Brother why we are laughing. My brother, as usual, is taciturn. I imagine the quizzical expression on his face. I think I hear his brain churning as he struggles to make sense of this.

Finally, he breaks the silence. Even though the phone is not on speaker, I hear him stammer: But...But....You're a DOCTOR!

I say: Medical license? How in the hell did she even get a driver's license?

Even a nun would know this. Sister #2 says.

How do you think I felt? It was my kid. Sister #4 says.

Her concern is ignored. The funny story about her kid has been surpassed for the rest of family history. If it is remembered, it will only be as the setup for "...and then Aunt B said...."

How do you think I feel? She's my kid -- the Doctor! my mother spurts out between gasps and giggles.

Reader, understand: this was not an issue about anatomy, physiology, or psychology. This is not something taught in school. This is something every Westerner would know.

Or so I thought. I still can't wrap my brain around this. Or stop laughing.

I'm glad that her husband is the stay-at-home parent.

I'm glad that Little Sister doesn't know about this blog. I would be deep in dirt with her. But maybe she has no recourse now that she has revealed what I can only think of as The Ultimate Stupidity.

This could be source material for Blond Jokes. No, no. It's too unbelievable.